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Posts tagged as “windows”

Top 10 Runlevels for Windows 8

Ah! Thursday! Who can we mess with using the half baked humor of our top 10 list this week?

You heard the news, we’re sure, that Ballmer & Company unveiled a preview of Windows 8 this week. We FOSS types couldn’t help but notice that the Microsofties seem to be copying more than a few Linux ideas with their new release, so we sent our crackpot investigative reporter Ms. Dos (well, she’s a crackpot, we know that much for sure) to nose around Redmond to see if she could find any unknown ways that the upcoming Windows operating system mimics the penguin.

Lo and behold! We discovered that Microsoft is secretly including Unix-like runlevels into their new OS. Some of these runlevels will be available to the user (although they won’t be called “runlevels”) and others will only be able to be activated by MS through the Windows Update feature, without user control. Doesn’t sound good, does it? Things from Redmond seldom do.

So, here it is, our list of the top 10 runlevels for Windows 8….

Top 10 Things Linux Users Don’t Understand

Uh-oh, it’s Thursday and time for another Top 10 list. We still haven’t heard from Mr. Letterman’s lawyers, which means so far, so good.

A few weeks back when we did our list on the Top 10 Reasons to Switch to Windows, we were taken to task by a commenter for being too hard on the Microsofties. Well, as Three Dog Night said a long, long time ago, when it comes to Redmond, we find it “easy to be hard.” Anyway, this week, we’re taking that commenter’s advice and, in the interest of equal time, we’re going after our own kind, Penguinistas.

So, here it is, just to prove that we don’t always pick on Windows, ten things that Linux users don’t understand.

  1. “This program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down.”
  2. Blake Stowell.
  3. Office suite upgrade for $149 plus.
  4. The registry.
  5. Antivirus software.

Top 10 Reasons to Switch to Windows

Here we go again, stealing the IP of David Letterman. Actually we found some prior art on this so we think we’re okay – so we offer this week’s Top Ten list!

  1. Those nifty file extensions.
  2. The always there when you need it “control-alt-delete” function.
  3. It’ll execute any file, right out of the box, without any prompting from you!
  4. How can the company that gave us ActiveX go wrong?
  5. Buy now and they’ll throw-in antivirus and a firewall absolutely free – a $200 value!

Top 10 Things Steve Jobs Never Said

Here we go with our first ever Top 10 List. Hopefully, if David Letterman doesn’t sue us, we’ll make this a regular Thursday feature.

  1. I’m having a Big Mac attack.
  2. Now that Microsoft’s come out with the Zune we might as well hang it up.
  3. Thank you for your email suggestions on how we can redesign the iPhone to make you happier. I’ll have our R&D people get right to work on it.
  4. Our newest product should make the boys on Wall Street happy.
  5. We should’ve called it a Fig Newton.
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