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Top 10 Reasons Why Larry Ellison Dislikes Red Hat

It’s Thursday, and you know what that means… Time to cover your kids’ eyes and ears – heck, time to keep them away from any online device altogether – because it’s Top 10 day. We still haven’t heard anything from David Letterman’s lawyers, so we figure he’s cool with us stealing his IP. If he sends us one of those “cease and desist” notices, we’ll just claim that the rights to the Top 10 list were given to us by NBC, who said he abandoned them when he bolted to CBS. Anyway, we’ve discovered that the list is a teeny bit funnier if you read it aloud, pretending you’re Mr. Letterman, right Paul?

  1. “JBoss, ha! iBoss, and don’t you forget it!”
  2. “They never offer me a ticket to a Wolfpack game.”
  3. Redmond/Red Hat… I don’t know, there’s something going on there, don’t you think?”
  4. “Whoever heard of a tech giant located in North Carolina? Shouldn’t they be rolling cigarettes or something?”
  5. “Wadaya mean they don’t trust our patches?”
  6. “What the hell’s wrong with free beer?”
  7. “Did you ever notice that in monochrome red is black? Ya really wanna trust a company called Black Hat?”
  8. “They’re too damn ethical.”
  9. “A billion dollar company selling free software? What’s the math behind that?”
  10. “Red Hat, they’re no SAPs.”

Well, that’s the top ten reasons why Larry Ellison dislikes Red Hat from our viewpoint. Perhaps you’ll have a reason or two of your own to post below…


  1. Jose_X Jose_X August 5, 2011

    They are a threat to the patent moat we have built around our conquered cities.


    They have good free software. We have bogus patents. Our differences are irreconcilable.

  2. rich rich August 8, 2011

    We are Number 2! We are Number 2! (Better than nothing)

  3. Jon Clifton Jon Clifton August 8, 2011

    #8 “Redmond/Red Hat…Redwood Shores, CA 94065

  4. Christine Hall Christine Hall August 8, 2011

    @Jon Clifton Aha! We completely missed that one. Thanks Jon!

  5. Anony Anony August 9, 2011

    Waste of time
    This article is
    – Yoda

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