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Posts published in “Humor”

An Ode to the Coming of the 4K Board

By Phil Shapiro on July 4, 2017 |

Hardware, Humor and Video

An Ode to the Coming of the 4K Boardgramophone

Our irrepressible Phil Shapiro thought you might like to hear something on the Fourth that isn’t a national anthem or the 1812 Overture. And who knew he could sing or play an instrument? We’re considering renaming his column, The Penguinista Minstrel.

gramophone
Pixabay

The Screening Room

Every jump in computer resolution technology brings with it a cornucopia of new creative and business opportunities. When I noticed recently that an affordable 4K hobby computer board was being launched on Kickstarter, I felt moved to compose this song — Mine Eyes Have Seen the Glory of the Coming of the 4K Board.

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Heed the Prophet Stallman, oh Software Sinners!Richard Stallman RMS

Heed the Prophet Stallman, oh Software Sinners!

By Robin "Roblimo" Miller on May 11, 2017 |

Humor and Opinion

We’re reasonably certain this wasn’t written by the hand of any god. Then again, we haven’t personally met any gods, so how would we know? All we know for sure is that as some good book almost said, “The truth shall make you chuckle.”

Richard Stallman RMS

Roblimo’s Hideaway

“REPENT!”

It’s easy to imagine Richard M. Stallman yelling “Repent, ye software sinners!” as he stands on a mountaintop, wearing flowing robes and raising a hand-carved wooden staff toward the sky — with lightning and thunderheads swirling around him, of course. Meanwhile, the Israelites — I mean computer users — cower in the valley below, worried that The Lord shall smite them for the sin of using proprietary software.

Robin "Roblimo" Miller

Robin “Roblimo” Miller is a freelance writer and former editor-in-chief at Open Source Technology Group, the company that owned SourceForge, freshmeat, Linux.com, NewsForge, ThinkGeek and Slashdot, and until recently served as a video editor at Slashdot. Now he’s mostly retired, but still works part-time as an editorial consultant for Grid Dynamics, and (obviously) writes for FOSS Force.

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It’s Windows Time in Linux Land AgainLinux Tux smashing Windows

It’s Windows Time in Linux Land Again

By Christine Hall on April 17, 2017 |

Humor and Operating Systems

Using Windows. What a horrible thing to ask a Linux user to do.

Linux Tux smashing Windows

Every year at this time I have to scramble to boot into a Windows partition to do my taxes. I could do them online, safe and secure in my Linux comfort zone, but I do taxes for three people and all the online services want to charge extra for each and every return. If I download and install the software onto my own machine, there’s no extra charge. Trouble is, none of the big three tax programs supports Linux. Tax Act, the cheapo bottom of the barrel one that I use, doesn’t even support Mac.This means that every April I get a reminder of what a pain Windows can be.

Christine Hall

Christine Hall has been a journalist since 1971. In 2001, she began writing a weekly consumer computer column and started covering Linux and FOSS in 2002 after making the switch to GNU/Linux. Follow her on Twitter: @BrideOfLinux

FOSSForce.com
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Dealing With Real-Life, Everyday Security Threatssecurity

Dealing With Real-Life, Everyday Security Threats

By Robin "Roblimo" Miller on April 13, 2017 |

Humor and Security

No one has ever been shot by a hacker who was breaking into their computer through the Internet. Not so for thieves coming in through the back door.

Roblimo’s Hideaway

security

I wrote a piece titled No, Evil Hackers Aren’t After You, and promptly had 17 zillion readers (by actual count) get mad at me for not taking their security concerns seriously. I still think the idea of a giant robot eyeball on a flexible stalk growing out of your microwave oven is still a little silly, and I believe there are many simple, down-to-Earth security problems to worry about before you try to spot rogue CIA agents watching your house from a grassy knoll in Dallas.

Robin "Roblimo" Miller

Robin “Roblimo” Miller is a freelance writer and former editor-in-chief at Open Source Technology Group, the company that owned SourceForge, freshmeat, Linux.com, NewsForge, ThinkGeek and Slashdot, and until recently served as a video editor at Slashdot. Now he’s mostly retired, but still works part-time as an editorial consultant for Grid Dynamics, and (obviously) writes for FOSS Force.

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Poverty Helps You Keep Technology Safe and EasyPoor Linux

Poverty Helps You Keep Technology Safe and Easy

By Robin "Roblimo" Miller on February 9, 2017 |

Humor, Internet and Security

In the technology age, there might be some before unknown advantages to living on the bottom rungs of the economic ladder. The question is, do they outweigh the disadvantages.

Roblimo’s Hideaway

Poor Linux

Earlier this week I saw a ZDNet story titled Vizio: The spy in your TV by my friend Steven J. Vaughan-Nichols. Scary stuff. I had a vision of my wife and me and a few dozen of our closest friends having a secret orgy in our living room, except our smart TV’s unblinking eye was recording our every thrust and parry (you might say). Zut alors! In this day of Internet everywhere, we all know that what goes online, stays online. Suddenly our orgy wasn’t secret, and my hopes of becoming the next President were dashed.

Except… lucky me! I’m poor, so I have an oldie-but-goodie dumb TV that doesn’t have a camera. There’s no way my old Vizio can spy on us. As Mel Brooks didn’t quite say, “It’s good to be the poverty case.”

Robin "Roblimo" Miller

Robin “Roblimo” Miller is a freelance writer and former editor-in-chief at Open Source Technology Group, the company that owned SourceForge, freshmeat, Linux.com, NewsForge, ThinkGeek and Slashdot, and until recently served as a video editor at Slashdot. Now he’s mostly retired, but still works part-time as an editorial consultant for Grid Dynamics, and (obviously) writes for FOSS Force.

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‘Open Source’ Is Now a Word?open source distionary

‘Open Source’ Is Now a Word?

By Christine Hall on February 8, 2017 |

Humor and News

So far there’s been no news on Microsoft’s reaction to “open source” being officially recognized by the arbiters of the English language.

open source distionary

“Open source” is now officially a word according to Merriam-Webster, according to my good friends at Ars Technica. Actually, I don’t know anybody at Ars Technica, but whenever you’re stealing news from another news source, you’re traditionally allowed to refer to everyone who works there as “my good friends.” The theory is that if they think you’re a friend of theirs, they won’t sue you.

Christine Hall

Christine Hall has been a journalist since 1971. In 2001, she began writing a weekly consumer computer column and started covering Linux and FOSS in 2002 after making the switch to GNU/Linux. Follow her on Twitter: @BrideOfLinux

FOSSForce.com
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The Many, the Humble, the Ubuntu UsersUbuntu Unity

The Many, the Humble, the Ubuntu Users

By Robin "Roblimo" Miller on January 19, 2017 |

Distros and Humor

The proverbial “better mousetrap” isn’t one that takes a certified biologist to use. Like Ubuntu, it just needs to do its job extremely well and with little fuss.

Roblimo’s Hideaway

Ubuntu Unity

I have never been much of a leading-edge computing person. In fact, I first got mildly famous online writing a weekly column titled “This Old PC” for Time/Life about making do with used gear — often by installing Linux on it — and after that an essentially identical column for Andover.net titled “Cheap Computing,” which was also about saving money in a world where most online computing columns seemed to be about getting you to spend until you had no money left to spend on food.

Robin "Roblimo" Miller

Robin “Roblimo” Miller is a freelance writer and former editor-in-chief at Open Source Technology Group, the company that owned SourceForge, freshmeat, Linux.com, NewsForge, ThinkGeek and Slashdot, and until recently served as a video editor at Slashdot. Now he’s mostly retired, but still works part-time as an editorial consultant for Grid Dynamics, and (obviously) writes for FOSS Force.

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When Peer Pressure Nukes Linux for Windows

When Peer Pressure Nukes Linux for Windows

By FOSS Force Guest Writer on January 16, 2017 |

Distros, Gaming, Hardware, Humor and Operating Systems

Ed Matthews

A grandson was happy with the flame throwing hot rod Linux gaming computer that his grandfather had built — until peer pressure came into play.

It’s Sunday evening and I’m in my daughter’s kitchen. My grandson and I have taken over the table with the computer I built for him, the family’s desktop, his laptop, and my laptop.

I have read multiple sources in the alt.os.linux.mint newsgroup saying that Windows is much, much easier to install and configure than Linux. Some people say those guys are trolls. Whatever. I need one of those sources to meet me in my daughter’s kitchen in the lower left corner of Missouri, USA, to show me how to finish installing Windows 7 on my grandson’s computer.

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Linux People Should Say, ‘You’re Welcome, Windows Users’VW Linux

Linux People Should Say, ‘You’re Welcome, Windows Users’

By Robin "Roblimo" Miller on January 12, 2017 |

Humor, Operating Systems and Opinion

If it wasn’t for Linux setting the bar, would Windows users still be dealing with the “blue screen of death” several times a day?

Roblimo’s Hideaway

VW Linux
There’s no evidence on whether Ted Kennedy tweeted his displeasure at this fake VW ad that appeared in National Lampoon.

There was a time when a computer operating system called Windows totally dominated the market, and it sucked. I mean, really sucked. Blue screens of death, unexplained crashes, viruses and worms galore, re-re-reboots all the darn time…and still, despite all the problems, people used this Windows thing. Why? Because except for the artsy/hipster $MacOS, it was the only computer OS you could get for your desktop, and it was the one that ran all the 17 jillion programs businesses wanted their office workers to use. Luckily, Windows has gotten a lot better over the years. Except…was it luck or was it Linux that made Windows improve?

Robin "Roblimo" Miller

Robin “Roblimo” Miller is a freelance writer and former editor-in-chief at Open Source Technology Group, the company that owned SourceForge, freshmeat, Linux.com, NewsForge, ThinkGeek and Slashdot, and until recently served as a video editor at Slashdot. Now he’s mostly retired, but still works part-time as an editorial consultant for Grid Dynamics, and (obviously) writes for FOSS Force.

Continue readingLinux People Should Say, ‘You’re Welcome, Windows Users’
Torturing Tech Support Phone Scammers With LinuxTech Support call center

Torturing Tech Support Phone Scammers With Linux

By Robin "Roblimo" Miller on January 5, 2017 |

Humor and Operating Systems

Some days it doesn’t pay to be a huckster selling phony Windows support. Not that Windows doesn’t need supporting, mind you…

Roblimo’s Hideaway

Tech Support call center

“What,” you may ask, “is Online Tek Squad?” I didn’t know, either, until a guy calling himself Paul, known to Caller I.D. as “Name Unavailable,” rang me up from what turned out to be a nonexistent phone number. Paul said he called me because my computer was infected with “over 30 viruses.” Wow. Good thing he got hold of me before the number climbed to 40 or 50, right?

Robin "Roblimo" Miller

Robin “Roblimo” Miller is a freelance writer and former editor-in-chief at Open Source Technology Group, the company that owned SourceForge, freshmeat, Linux.com, NewsForge, ThinkGeek and Slashdot, and until recently served as a video editor at Slashdot. Now he’s mostly retired, but still works part-time as an editorial consultant for Grid Dynamics, and (obviously) writes for FOSS Force.

Continue readingTorturing Tech Support Phone Scammers With Linux