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Posts published by “FOSS Force”

Top 10 Things to Call a Linux Distro from Microsoft

Gosh, how the time flies when you’re having fun! Here it is, Thursday again, time for another Top Ten list. By now, we fully expected that we’d have heard from David Letterman or his lawyers about this, but we’re beginning to suspect he doesn’t even know we’re here. Just in case, however, we’re keeping all of our legal answers ready.

This week, we wondering what we’d call a Linux distro from Microsoft…

  1. Seattle’s Best.
  2. Breakable Linux.
  3. The best thing Microsoft ever came up with.
  4. Open Windows.
  5. Something that will never happen.

Top 10 Things Linux Users Don’t Understand

Uh-oh, it’s Thursday and time for another Top 10 list. We still haven’t heard from Mr. Letterman’s lawyers, which means so far, so good.

A few weeks back when we did our list on the Top 10 Reasons to Switch to Windows, we were taken to task by a commenter for being too hard on the Microsofties. Well, as Three Dog Night said a long, long time ago, when it comes to Redmond, we find it “easy to be hard.” Anyway, this week, we’re taking that commenter’s advice and, in the interest of equal time, we’re going after our own kind, Penguinistas.

So, here it is, just to prove that we don’t always pick on Windows, ten things that Linux users don’t understand.

  1. “This program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down.”
  2. Blake Stowell.
  3. Office suite upgrade for $149 plus.
  4. The registry.
  5. Antivirus software.

Top 10 Reasons Why Larry Ellison Dislikes Red Hat

It’s Thursday, and you know what that means… Time to cover your kids’ eyes and ears – heck, time to keep them away from any online device altogether – because it’s Top 10 day. We still haven’t heard anything from David Letterman’s lawyers, so we figure he’s cool with us stealing his IP. If he sends us one of those “cease and desist” notices, we’ll just claim that the rights to the Top 10 list were given to us by NBC, who said he abandoned them when he bolted to CBS. Anyway, we’ve discovered that the list is a teeny bit funnier if you read it aloud, pretending you’re Mr. Letterman, right Paul?

  1. “JBoss, ha! iBoss, and don’t you forget it!”
  2. “They never offer me a ticket to a Wolfpack game.”
  3. Redmond/Red Hat… I don’t know, there’s something going on there, don’t you think?”
  4. “Whoever heard of a tech giant located in North Carolina? Shouldn’t they be rolling cigarettes or something?”
  5. “Wadaya mean they don’t trust our patches?”

Top 10 Reasons to Switch to Windows

Here we go again, stealing the IP of David Letterman. Actually we found some prior art on this so we think we’re okay – so we offer this week’s Top Ten list!

  1. Those nifty file extensions.
  2. The always there when you need it “control-alt-delete” function.
  3. It’ll execute any file, right out of the box, without any prompting from you!
  4. How can the company that gave us ActiveX go wrong?
  5. Buy now and they’ll throw-in antivirus and a firewall absolutely free – a $200 value!

Top 10 Things Steve Jobs Never Said

Here we go with our first ever Top 10 List. Hopefully, if David Letterman doesn’t sue us, we’ll make this a regular Thursday feature.

  1. I’m having a Big Mac attack.
  2. Now that Microsoft’s come out with the Zune we might as well hang it up.
  3. Thank you for your email suggestions on how we can redesign the iPhone to make you happier. I’ll have our R&D people get right to work on it.
  4. Our newest product should make the boys on Wall Street happy.
  5. We should’ve called it a Fig Newton.
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